Body image. Why be so damn hard on yourself?

Every day is a challenge when it comes to my personal insecurities. The little guy above really says it all for me! Ha. Well, I often find myself looking in the mirror...and often wincing. I am one of the millions of young men and women who are insecure. My insecurities have to do with mainly my personal body image. This insecurity is truly a fracking emotional roller coaster that, just like many others, face constantly. But slowly, I am coming to conclusions that are truly helping with my self-esteem. So, YEAH...I see fat on my body! But hey, I have fat, and I have excess fat at that. But, that does not effect my personal character and moral. Remind yourself to not judge yourself. Being a plus-sized girl in a 0-2 world causes extreme stress and for me, a lot of shame. In fact, even those at a normal, healthy weight, bare the same cross. Yet, from now on, I choose not to accept these feelings of inaptitude any longer. Its eating away at me. Why do this to yourself? You do not deserve the pain. Instead of focusing so much on "weight," why not focus on personal growth and physical health? Change your mental outlook! Focus on "self help." Now you may be wondering, "what are the initial small steps I can take to make this change?" Or, maybe you're thinking, "Jesus that sounds dumb. I'm ugly, etc etc..." Well, I say just stop fracking thinking that way. It is no way to live. Don't bring yourself down, find inspiration and motivation. Its everywhere.

Take a moment to think about media. Media and propaganda control the population. Its absolutely insane. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the typical American spends about half their amount of free time in front of the TV. A staggering statistic indeed, and I have to admit, I am a participant.  I admit, I feel as though I always have Netflix on, even if I just have it in the background. Actors, actresses, models...they uphold the standard of beauty. But how dare they let themselves DEFINE IT. You are beautiful, it is society that is ugly. Media tells us that a small waist and a brazilian wax is everything. I beg to fracking differ my friend. At the end of the day, a small waist does not support you. A small waist does not mean life will be perfect. A small waits does not define you. Nor, does a plus size waist. Its your character. Your character is what defines you. I know it sounds so cliche talking about "inner beauty." For some its like, "Yeah thats nice. But i'm still fat." Well, stop that nonsense. We perpetuate the stereotypes we despise. We perpetuate what the the media tells us. We bring ourselves down, and others...all because of our insecurities that have been engraved into us since birth. Boys and girl grow up with television, magazines, advertisements, porn, and so forth. 

My boyfriend and I had a talk the other day about why men are so focused on the "ideal" female form. He remarked...

"It was what I was raised to like. Blonde, thin, and large breasts was what was advertised as "beautiful." Naturally, through my adolescence  that is what I sought. That was what I was told was "sexy," therefore, that is what I was looking for. Through the years, I learned otherwise. I don't believe in the perfect body. I believe in beauty. Individual beauty."

My boyfriend is exactly right. Through our upbringing, we see beauty in a certain, very taunting yet appealing light. It is our curiosity  our lust, and drive for perfection that spark our obsession with our image, body weight, and personality traits..When honestly, I believe being an individual and following your own path, heart, sense of style, personal beliefs, and so forth...are what make us the most beautiful. 

Xo, Thanks for reading.

Introverted Lifestyles

Parties: Expectations 

And...Reality

The music is fracking blaring...bright colors are painting the walls, and the crowd is having a blast. This is one of the best parties you have ever been to. Everywhere you look, huge smiles encompass faces as your friends and strangers alike dance to the beats, and even the DJ is having a good time as he sways to his own music. The atmosphere is amazing, and as you take a drink from your red cup  you shift through the crowd to take a break from the madness. You make it off the dance floor and lean against the wall, watching the crowd as they continue to enjoy themselves. It's almost impossible to notice the guy that is sitting next to you with all the movement before your eyes, but as you look down to him, he seems stiff and almost uncomfortable. The flashes of red, green and yellow that trail the walls land on him from time to time, and you notice he seems to have a blank expression, and he cautiously takes a drink from the cup. You don't want to stare, but it's an oddity that in this amazing party, someone could be lacking the energy that everyone else has. You lean down to him as the song fades and ask him if he's alright, to which he looks at you and nods with a faint grin and confirms that everything is alright. You nod and walk away, but throughout the night, in between chatting with the opposite sex and laughing with your friends, you see him lined against the edges of the room, always alone, and always looking as if he'd rather be at home. At this point, you start to ask yourself why this guy just doesn't go home if he's having such a bad time. Why be at a party if you're not going to enjoy yourself?

Well, this person is probably an introvert. 

An introvert is, in a loose description, someone who draws energy from reflection and stimulating thought. Introversion is a personality trait in which the being is commonly withdrawn and prefers to be alone, often finding solace in solitary activities, provoking thought, and mental clarity, opposed to extroversion, in which the being is energized by group activity and interaction with others.

It is a common misconception that introversion is a form or shyness or social ineptness. Sometimes, its just nice to keep to yourself, and do things on your own. Silence and reclusion is often what I need to mend any of my problems.

The funny thing about introverts is once they feel comfortable with you, they can be the funniest, most enjoyable people to be around. Its llike a secrets they feel comfortable sharing with you. Except the secret is their marvelous personality.

Welcome To My Little Corner Of The Internet!

Hello to any of you readers who are currently trying to find your place in the world. May my blog be a comfortable place for all of those misunderstood and unheard fantastical weirdos, eccentrics, and introverts. Deciding to create a blog was not an easy one. What do I talk about? Would anyone be interested in reading what I have to say? I surely hope so. I have only the best intentions to reach out to the world around me to communicate and explore. It would be my honor if any of my written words will have a positive effect on your life. Modern society is...depleting ethically. Between social media, advertisements, reality tv, mislead government officials, and acts of violence and green through out the world..I hope to find solace in this blog. This is a little piece of me that I'm sharing with the world. How taunting! Just know- perfection isn't welcome here, only truth. Welcome all, make yourselves at home. I'll report back soon.

"I always will be. But times change, and so must I… we all change. When you think about it, we are all different people, all through our lives and that’s okay, that’s good! You've gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be."